Alexander Matthew Adair

Please read ~ I have been having internet connection problems for the last couple of days so forgive
me if I don't get to light all my candles ~ love to you all ~ Hazel xxxx


♥´*•.¸*•.¸ ♥ ¸.•*´ Thank you to everyone for all your support and for all the
candles, tributes and gifts left on Alex's site, it is very much appreciated - bless you all.
¸.•*´´*♥´*•.¸*•.¸ ♥

♥ ¸.•*´¸.•*´´*♥´*•.¸*•.¸¸.•*´¸.•*´´*♥´*•.¸*•.¸ ♥ ♥
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Alex was born on the 9 March 1981 and died aged 25. He lived with us after his relationship ended
with his long-term girlfriend. He found it hard to deal with as they were together for several
years. He then had an accident which resulted in him undergoing major spinal surgery where he had
to have titanium rods bolted to his spine. He also broke his left shoulder and endured a lot of pain
and distress for two years prior to his death. He went missing on the 31st May 06 after a hospital
appointment. We never saw him again. After a massive search, Alex was found dead on the 9th June at
a local beauty spot. We were devastated to find out he had taken his own life. We never had the
chance to say goodbye properly because the coroner wouldn't allow us to see him. He originally
trained as a circus performer and dancer, and he was an amazing juggler. Although he recovered from
his surgery he was left with reduced mobility in his shoulder and back which was devastating for him
as he could no longer do his acrobatics and juggling. He leaves an older brother Marc, a younger
sister Phoebe, his gran and an aunty who lives in the USA. He also loved Snoopy!

Alex was my youngest son, and his death has left a huge pain in my heart that will never be healed.
He was a very talented, gentle person, with a lovely sense of humour and sparkling personality. I am
very proud that he is my son and I have the greatest respect for his courage and tenacity.
Thankfully we are blessed with lots of lovely memories of happier times. We still expect him to walk
into the room and would give anything to hear the swish of his jeans as he moves about or the thud
of clubs and juggling balls landing on the floor. He is greatly missed - more than he will ever know
and I am struggling to come to terms with his death, three years on.

My biggest distress comes from thinking about what was going through his mind as he was on his own
at the end. My husband and I adored him and caring for him was a large part of our daily routine,
especially in the last two years of his life. We shared so much of his pain and anguish and tried to
make things as easy as possible for him. If only I'd taken him for his appointment - but he was
trying to regain his independence so I let him go on his own. He 'phoned his dad twice to have a
chat when he was on his way to the hospital - my husband says he was happy and upbeat. The
consultant he saw also said the same. Little did we know.

I still cry every day at the thought of never seeing him again and long to hug and kiss him. The
pain is unbearable at times. I love you more than you will ever know sweetheart. Alex - my beautiful
son, you will remain forever in my heart - until we meet again, I send you lots of hugs, kisses and
peaceful thoughts and hope that you are happy wherever you are ~ love Mums xxx